Wednesday, March 7, 2012

No Clean Panties

Do you sometimes or always feel that you are living a life where something is missing for you to be truly happy? Everything seems great, but deep inside you feel that uneasy feeling you are not satisfied. I had cheerful childhood, finished university on time and landed a decent job. Soon I married a high school sweetheart, enjoyed standard sex life and gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Sounds like a perfect life path, but that subtle undefined feeling of  something missing was always present. I tried "curing" myself by reading every imaginable self-improvement book I laid my hands, religiously listening CD's with mantras that should make me feel better when I wake up. Still, every morning and every day still tasted unsatisfying.

It was July 1998, and half of my country was immersed in civil war, but except financial problems, war still haven't seriously marked the part of the country where we lived. It turned out to be calm before the storm. I was busy taking care of my one year old baby and a part time job, having not much time for myself.  My feet  started dance of joy when my  mother offered her help for a day so I can have some time off.

Quick shower, slip over a short yellow summer dress and I was ready to run out through the door. I was in the hallway when I realized I forgot to put my panties on. In a jiffy I was back in our room, throwing things around trying to find clean panties, but to no avail. "Well there is always first time for everything", I thought, and decided to honor the city streets by walking without underwear for the first time in my life. The thought of changing my short dress for something not so revealing was quickly discarded and the next moment my heels played the beat on the hot city pavements. After an hour, I overcame initial feeling that every man who passes by knows that i have nothing else underneath my short cotton dress. Suddenly I became aware of the certain feeling of freedom and satisfaction. My walk became more seductive and provocative as I was enjoying the moment. On my way back home from shopping I caught the bus and found myself sitting across two high school boys that were loudly talking in almost empty bus, occasionally throwing quick looks in my direction. After three stops, bus became almost empty and i decided to have another "there is always first time for everything" mantra. I slowly parted my legs while looking away from them. I felt hot air sliding over my exposed slit like a gentle lovers tongue. Soon I noticed their loud talk became quite whisper and  I knew they noticed what I wanted to show. From the edge of my eye I could see they start playfully pushing each other while continually staring at my crotch.

From where the courage comes in moments like this I don't know, but in the next moment I looked straight into them and spread my legs wide as much as i can. I could see their faces going red and noticed their Adam's apple moving fast as they were swallowing and breathing harder. Minutes looked like hours and I felt like I have all the power in the world. Two stations down the road I stood up, blow them a kiss while they were staring at me like hypnotized and left the bus.

While walking away I started laughing like crazy, cherishing the feelgood spirit that entered my body. I am happy as never before and all because of one banal thing - I did not have clean panties to put one. The feeling didn't last for too long thou, the moment I entered our rented flat and met with a remark from my mother that I stayed for too long I felt ashamed and retracted to the previous state of being. In the months to follow I would occasionally indulge myself in escapades, but always felt guilty when I would come back home to my husband and baby.

2 comments:

  1. I can relate.

    My life never came to a major turning point because of a lack of clean underwear (my wife ALWAYS makes sure I have clean underwear), but I have certainly had some extra fun when I simply decided not to wear any underwear.

    Although I never wore a short skirt (or a long one either, come to think of it), being able to "swing" so freely - even more than roomy boxers could ever allow gave a delicious and unparalleled sense of freedom.

    I eventually extended this practice to my office attire - wearing a $5,000 silk suit without underwear to the office is far more satisfying than wearing a $5,0000 silk suit over a pair of $1.50 boxers. Although most people don’t notice, there have been a few women who seemed to suspect that I was traveling light.

    BTW, I enjoyed the mental image of you on the bus. It made me recall a similar experience when I was about 14 years of age sitting on the bus after school across a classmate notorious for her short skirts, long legs and general lack of decency.

    Your maiden name wasn’t Dietzcher was it?

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  2. Loved reading your old blog back in the day, hope you continue to write and update more often, miss reading about your adventures.

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